H/D fic: All You Want
songfic for slasher_hd because of the request she made.

Title: All You Want
Author: bemygoodday
Rating: R (for language)
Length: 1,700
Summary: Draco had seen Potter run his hands through his hair at least 20 times in the past hour. ([/lame] summaries hate me -_-)
Warnings: Unbetad
Disclaimer: I own no characters found within, nor do I gain profit from them in any way.



Draco sat at a round table in the corner of the room and lifted his champagne to his lips as he watched Potter smile evenly and shake hands with yet another admirer. It was sickening, really. Potter kept running his hands through his hair, practically broadcasting his discomfort to anyone who would pay attention, but the whole place was too busy worshiping him to actually care. Even his little rag-tag bunch of cohorts kept drinking and laughing and smiling and patting Potter on the back without so much as a sign they could tell Potter was hating every second of this.

Draco had grown used to being the only one to notice things about Potter. He was sure he was the only one who noticed the way his shoulders tensed every time Ginny Weasley touched him, or the way his lips twitched when he looked at Seamus Finnigan in 5th year. He saw the envy and longing in his eyes when he looked at the Weasel and Granger together. He noticed that when he laughed, the right side of his mouth lifted higher than the left, and when he was faking his smile was even. He saw the way his back seemed to straighten whenever Arthur or Molly Weasley entered a room. He'd seen him run his hands through his hair at least 20 times in the past hour.

Draco signaled to a house elf, whose arms were laden with a tray of drinks.

"Would you be liking another drink, sir?" The house elf asked.

"Please send a firewhisky to Mr. Potter. If he asks, tell him it's from someone who hates this as much as he does."

"Yes sir." The house elf said, before he made his way across the room to Potter.

Potter accepted the drink from the elf just as Ginny Weasley walked up beside him and placed a hand on his arm. Draco smirked as he saw Potter's shoulders tense slightly before he turned to her. She seemed to be indicating the drink in his hand and Potter just shrugged and took a drink from it while the Weasly girl called the elf back to them. After a few words, the elf spoke back, most likely relaying the message of who had sent the drink. Weasley obviously bristled while a strange look passed over Potters face, and he glanced around the room. When his eyes fell on Draco, Draco raised his glass to him in mock salute. Potter looked slightly surprised for a moment then raised his own glass to Draco, before taking another swig. Potter broke eye contact to look at the Weaslette who was talking to him again. When she was finished, Potter shrugged again and she walked away in a huff.

While Potter looked after her, a small gleam of guilt in his eye, Draco relocated to the bar. Now Potter was staring at the seat Draco had just vacated.

Potter's staring was interrupted when a group of people came over to him and he immediately smiled that perfectly even smile again before shaking their hands.

~*~

The night was winding down and most of the crowd had left, including all of Potter's sidekicks. Potter himself had tried to make his leave a few times, but kept getting stopped by people on his way to the door and dragged back to the center of the room. There weren't enough people to detain him for long, so Draco stepped outside and waited. He lit a cigarette and tipped his head back against the cool brick of the building, shutting his eyes, and listening for Potter's approach.

He was right, it didn't take that long. He was only on his third cigarette when he heard the quick steps of Potter's dress shoes against the tiles inside the foyer.

When Potter emerged he released a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his hair. Instead of apparating home like the other guests, Potter began walking in the opposite direction of where he lived. Draco, knowing Potter probably fancied a walk in the open air to wind down from the night, stubbed out his cigarette against the wall before walking quickly to catch up with Potter.

"Hey, Potter." Draco said as he reached his side.

Potter must have been too deep in thought to listen to the voice that called him, and he turned to Draco with a perfectly symmetrical smile on his face. Once his eyes landed on Draco, his smile faltered and he turned his head to look straight ahead of him. Not inviting Draco to keep walking with him, but not objecting to his presence either.

Draco stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked silently along side Potter for several minutes before he couldn't take the silence anymore.

"He's dead, Potter. He's dead and he's not coming back and I just wanted to- "

Draco was cut off by Potter, and the tone of annoyance in his voice made Draco's heart rate speed up. "I swear on Dumbledore's grave, Malfoy. If you fucking thank me, I'll kill you."

Draco smirked. "Actually, I was going to tell you not to let it go to your head."

"Piss off, Malfoy." Potter spat, getting more angry than annoyed now. “Why can’t you just- “

“Kiss your arse like everybody else?” Draco asked smoothly. “Tell you I knew you could do it all along? Pretend I’m not shocked out of my mind that you made it out of this, that any of us made it out of this, alive? It isn’t that I can’t. I could, but then, you don’t want me to, do you?”

Potter stopped walking and grabbed Draco by the arm. “Look, just- They’re all just happy, OK? They’re happy and relieved and… and.”

“And?” Draco asked, finally seeing the last of Potter’s defenses coming down.

“And, I’m not.” Potter said. He dropped Draco’s arm and sat down on a nearby park bench, putting his head in his hands. Draco followed him to the bench and sat beside him. He couldn’t let Potter cool for too long, or he knew the shields would go back up, and he wouldn’t get Potter to give anything else up.

“Save it Potter. I don’t want to hear about the Woe Is Me life of the bloody Savior.” Draco goaded with his best sneer in place. “Yes, I can just imagine how difficult it must be to have the entire wizarding world falling at your feet.”

“Piss off!” Potter yelled, jumping to his feet again. He pointed a finger at Draco and began pacing back and forth in front of the bench while shaking his head. He was about to blow, Draco knew, he just needed a little more fuel.

Draco got up from his seat on the bench and rushed Potter, pushing him up against a tree. “No.” he said, right in Potters face.

Yes! Draco thought as Potter shoved his shoulders hard. This is real. This is just for me. This is mine. He pushed Potter back against the tree again and Potter used the tree trunk as leverage to push them both onto the ground. He straddled Draco’s waist and punched him in the jaw.

Draco smiled, the blood from his split lip falling onto his teeth and making him look crazed. “Perfect Potter,” he said before he rocked his body to the side, sending Potter sprawling, “Perfect Potter,” he repeated as he grabbed him by the collar to bring their faces together, “and his sad, sad, tale. He defeated the Dark Lord and now everyone loves him. Oh! His parent’s would be so proud.” Draco taunted, perfectly mimicking the voices of so many women over the night, “and he makes such a lovely couple with that Weasley girl, doesn’t he?” Draco felt Potter stiffen at the mention of his little she Weasel. “Don’t you agree, Potter?” Draco said, letting go of Potter’s collar so that his head fell to the ground.

Potter threw a punch to Draco’s ribs, effectively knocking him away, and stumbled to his feet.

“You don’t understand! You just- You don’t get it! I’ve done it, ok? I got lucky, really lucky, a lot of times. I was terrified, but even if I tell them that, even if I tell them the truth, they still think I’m just being modest, or noble. They don’t want to hear what’s real. They want to shake my hand and tell me what a good job I did and I can see it. I can see it when they look at me that they think I’m this huge hero who will always be able to protect them, but I’m not! I never was and if I let them know that, really know that, then they’ll lose all the hope they have, and that’ll be my fault too!” Potter was hysterical now. He was losing his own point and just spewing insecurities and Draco loved it. “They want me to be perfect and I’m not perfect! They want me to be an Auror, fight the good fight, marry the pretty girl, live happily ever after but it’s all just crap isn’t it?” Potter laughed dryly and Draco was sure there were tears in his eyes. “The whole thing, it’s just a load of rubbish.” He looked down into Draco’s eyes with an expression that said he’d forgotten sometime during his rant that Draco was still there. He let out a dejected snort and let his shoulders drop. “You are such a bastard, Malfoy.”

“So that’s it then?” Draco said, clutching his ribs- Potter could hit hard when he was worked up. “You don’t want the fame,” he said, pulling himself from the ground. “You don’t want the girl,” he said, walking slowly to Potter. “What do you want?” He asked, pressing Potter to the tree again.

Potter’s eyes flashed and Draco knew that he had won. Knew that Potter couldn’t back down, wouldn’t cop out and tell Draco to piss off anymore. He knew that when he made the final move toward Potter and kissed him, that his shoulders wouldn’t tense. He knew Potter. He knew what he wanted, and when Draco pressed his lips to Potter’s lightly, Potter finally knew too.


I hope you liked it! Please comment with some crit, yo!