H/D fic: EriseddesirE
Title: EriseddesirE
Author: Me ^_^
Pairing: H/D
Warning: a bit angsty
Notes: loosely beta'd by 4am_secret who was trying to help me catch the million times I had a missing apostrophe.




You looked into the Mirror of Erised and saw yourself flanked by happy parents. The warmth of your mum’s hand rested lovingly on your shoulder and your father’s eyes looked proud as he smiled at you. You had always wondered; were your parents not dead, would they smile at you? Would they wrap you in their arms and say I Love You? Would they drop you off at Platform 9 ¾, your mum pressing a kiss to your cheek so you could pretend to be embarrassed, your dad telling you not to get into too much trouble – a look in his eyes saying he is expecting you to get into at least a little.

You wondered, but knew there was nothing for it. Things were not that way, they never would be.

You returned to the mirror as often as you could, gazing into a dream you knew couldn’t be real but longing for it all the same. One occasion left you crying, your mother’s hand growing warmer, and your father’s gaze prouder. An insult. A mockery of the truth. You told yourself you wouldn’t return after that time, but you did in spite of yourself.

You heard the door opening slowly. You thought about trying to run straight into the mirror, into your mother’s arms so they could never take you away. You reached out your hand and touched the glass, colder than it looked to you. You pulled your hand away and ran to the shadows just before the door closed gingerly, but no one was there.

You stopped breathing for a moment and movement caught your eye. The cold air in the room seemed to part and unfold, giving way to the last person you wanted to see here. When he noticed the mirror you wanted to leap out and hit him, to yell at him to leave them alone, to tell him they were real, they were real. You wanted to shake him. Your body ached with the screams rising inside you. This is how they are! This is real! They’re real! You almost couldn’t hold back They Love me! - but did. He looked into the mirror with awe and sadness in his eyes and all of your screams died away.

He whispered into the mirror, “Mum… Dad?” it was quiet and he reached for his own shoulder.

He looked into the mirror, content a while longer before he ran out.

Emerging from the shadows you glanced into the mirror again to make sure that they were still there. You whispered goodnight, and headed back to your bed.

You still came as often as you could but over time it wasn’t them, the lie, you were looking for, it was him, and his soft smile that spoke only truth. He would sit there, where you once did, gazing into the glass, while you crouched in your new place, out of the light, watching.

Sometimes he talked to them. He would tell them about his friends and you wondered if anyone ever talked about you that way. You wished he would talk about you that way. You began to pretend it was you he was talking to, you he told his secrets and fears. When he would whisper, “I’m scared, I miss you,” you would think, It’s ok, I’m here.

You planned on coming here every spare moment for the rest of your life just to pretend with him. Pretend your parents were warm like the ones in the mirror, not the cold, lifeless bodies that floated through your house. Pretend that your mother’s face was relaxed and happy, not pinched and severe. Pretend that your father’s arms were a symbol of strength, not marked with their own symbol of servitude. Pretend that you were friends, best friends – and that the comments you made to each other in the halls were light hearted, instead of shatteringly harsh.

Your plans are destroyed one night when you find that the two of you are not alone. The Headmaster stands watching him for a moment before he speaks. When he tells him about the mirror’s purpose you are sure The Headmaster’s eyes meet yours for a moment before fixing on his once again. Your heart’s deepest desire. The words echo in your head and you wonder how you never saw it before. The Headmaster tells him that the mirror will be moved the next day, and spares you another glance before they make their way out of the room.

You slowly move from the darkness. You don’t want to look into the glass, knowing you will see their proud faces, and you don’t know if you can meet your mother’s kind eyes and say goodbye. After a few moments you work up the nerve to look at your parents, who will never be let down, but it isn’t the eyes of your parents you see.

He reaches a hand out to you and something inside of you feels burnt and hollow. Your breath catches in your throat and a choked sob comes out. You want to smash the mirror to a million pieces, making it take back the lie you can never have. It isn’t fair that he comes to you on the last chance you ever had. His eyes are sad and hold a certain acceptance, and you know that even if it is a lie, it’s too dear to shatter. You reach out to the glass and it seems strangely warmer to you than last time. Your fingers meet his and you hate that you wish you could reach further, but cant. You press harder into the glass silently begging him to let you in. I don’t want this world you think and press harder yet. Your fingers feel like they may snap and he simply continues to stare at you sadly.

“Please!” you finally scream and the desperation in your voice scares you. “Please…," Quiet and small this time, like his voice was that first night.

You know it’s useless and you drop your hand from the glass. Even though you know it isn’t real, you still can’t turn your back on him, so you walk slowly backward until his image is nothing but a memory, and the glass holds nothing for you, but an empty room.


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Well, that's it. Hope you enjoyed. Comments are all too welcome, seeing as how they generally make me warm and fuzzy on the inside. ^_^